evagabourel

EULOGY

Edward Richard Gabourel Jr. was born in the wee hours of the Saturday morning on October 27th 1979 at La Loma Luz Hospital in Santa Elena.  He was the firstborn child between Oneida “Neidy” August and Edward “Dido” Gabourel Sr.  He was pronounced a healthy baby boy at birth but at just one-day old, tragedy struck.  My mom had an old midwife “palagiar” Edward (I hope I said that right)…this was something they did to clean the baby’s throat…and something went terribly wrong and the baby started bleeding from his mouth.  He had to be rushed to Belize City Hospital and received a blood transfusion through his head.

This is the story that resulted in the epileptic Edward we grew to know and love.  I’m told his life expectancy was to his teenage years but he made it to 39.  He definitely lived a full life.

The childhood Edward who everyone remembers is a curious and mischievous little boy who would throw things at people, wet them up with a cupful of water, randomly hit them or in some cases plant a big unexpected kiss on them.  Many people were afraid of him because nobody could predict his mood.  But those who were brave enough to get to know him loved him and loved teasing him because he could take a good teasing IF he was in the mood to.

He was a greedy child with a big appetite.  Whatever we did not eat off our plates, he definitely would.  A couple of his favorite things ever were red Fanta (which he referred to as pretty Fanta), cheese chips, beans and pigtail, tortilla,  bollos (which he called bobos), and the occasional beer.

Those of you who grew up in our neighborhood may remember him getting “lashing” often. He knew the belt, the fan belt, the cable wire and chanklas really well…he got good doses of each IF my dad could catch him. He would literally have my dad doing laps around our house trying to catch him.  But lashing never made him cry.  He cried if you took away the things he loved…which were very simple things.  He collected used straws, bottle covers, and any kind of string.  When he was a young child he used to make “party” as he called it.  This would mean ripping up old cassettes for the “string” and tying a nut and bolt or stone on one end and throwing it on top of a coconut tree, then tying something similar on the opposite end and throwing that on another coconut tree across the yard.  He somehow discovered that the cassette string made a peculiar sound when the breeze was blowing strong.  Nobody taught him this; he discovered it on his own.  If you used my dad’s mechanic services when we were children its very likely one of your vehicle’s nuts and bolts ended up in Edward’s party…sorry about that.  One time, he missed with his throw and a big bolt landed smack in the middle of my forehead, I was so afraid I would have a permanent scar.  Edward also made it a habit in our childhood to wait for kids to come out of school and as they walked by he would stand on our porch and shout “ha” very loudly.  The neighborhood kids grew used to it and if he did not do it some would pass our house shouting it themselves so that he would come outside.

Another thing about Edward was his temper and his affinity for cuss words.  He got mad when he didn’t have his way and his mouth would explode with the infamous F-word.  And if you told him not to curse, he would do it some more.  My mother tried to teach him numbers and the alphabet but that did not last long because after a little while he would tell her to stop making noise or that he was too tired.

Edward has suffered from epilepsy or “fits” his whole life.  He lived on medication his whole life.  Most of the time his pills worked but curiously if the weather would change (from sunny to rainy) he would get seizures.  In his childhood they were very severe and he would often hurt himself or bite his tongue. At the time, this was not something people were used to seeing so those who did see it were afraid of him.  Because of this, we sheltered him a lot and did not take him many places.  The only place he knew was the comfort of our home.  Yet he never complained or asked to go anywhere.  He loved his family and when we lost our mom and little sister, he constantly asked for them. Even after 20 years.  He would ask for “Nayi” (he couldn’t say Neidy” and “Adine” (he couldn’t say Geraldine).  He never called my parents mom and Dad.  It was always “Nayi” and “Dido”. He could say my name and my brother, Luis’s, name perfectly but Helen and Nora were Patty and Jo to him. Sonia was also Jo to him.  How he came up with the names I don’t know…

As Edward became an adult, he was still a child trapped in his man’s body but his temper and mischievous bouts as well as the seizures were way less frequent.  He was comfortable with routines.  When he woke up he asked for his pills and his tea bag. He asked for “dinna” when it was lunchtime and he sat playing with his string or bottle covers or whatever was his latest fancy at the time.  He still did however wet my dad’s friends with water up to his very last days.  Mr. Errol and Mr. Earl were his favorite “victims”.  He also had a great long term memory.  He asked for my parents’ friends that have been dead for many years now.  Especially “Pris” (Mrs. Pris Wiltshire), Spec (Mr. Gerald Bernard) and Acricis (Mr. Norman Simplis).  And he always asked for Mom and Ger and our Aunt Eva and sometimes for “Papa”, our grandfather Virginio August.    He also asked about those alive whom he still remembered fondly from childhood….especially for my Aunt Ruth and my Uncle Russell (who he would only call by his nickname “Dut”) as well as for their children Monique, Jermaine and Salome (the latter which he called Chow Mein and Azome).

When we lost our mother, I was 15 and he was 19 going on 20 and Ger our little sister was 12.  9 months after our mom died, Ger also passed away.  Ever since then, Edward, Dad and I were the only family we had around as everyone lived far away.  In some ways, he became my son, my little boy because I had to really take care of him.  When I moved out of the house to start my own life, my father took full responsibility of taking care of him.  And I know it has not been an easy road for my father.  Edward was basically a difficult child at heart and mind yet hard to handle because he was a big solid man. Yet I never did once hear my dad complain about taking care of him, in fact those two were so close and inseparable despite their constant bickering.  My dad refused to go anywhere if Edward could not go.  Edward was my dad’s sidekick and his life companion for the past 20 years and Dad, you are a giant of a man for the amazing job you did with Edward.  My brother Luis when he came around used to always take good care of him and Edward adored him.  If Luis went away for a long time then came home to visit he would rail up and ask Luis why he went to “States”. When Nora moved in with Dad recently, Edward quickly picked up on her routine and whenever she was not home on time he would question her about where she had been. My sister Helen went to live in the US before my mom died and she only recently came back to visit for the first time in over 15 years.  Yet he still asked about “Patty”.  If I went without visiting the house for a few days my dad says he would ask for me.  As soon as he saw me he would ask me to take him to the river (which is what he called the pool).  I could go on and on…we all have these wonderful memories of him which we cherish now more than ever.

Dad, I know you will miss him more than anyone, I will miss him so much too, we will all miss him…but I hope we can find comfort knowing he is in a good place, finally at peace and reunited with Mommy and Ger.  It goes without saying that he lived a life full of love and he passed away peacefully in his favorite chair on the front porch.  I broke down when I saw him in the casket because he really looked so handsome and so peaceful…there could not have been a better way for him to go or for us to remember him.  I’m grateful to God for blessing us with the perfect son and brother to our family; and our interactions with him over the years have taught us so many valuable lessons that have surely made us better persons.  Edward’s light has touched us in different and in many ways and for that his purpose on this earth was fulfilled ever greatly.  We love you Ed!

Thank you.